Tuesday, October 07, 2014

The once-off Saturday-to-Saturday series

It's oh-so easy in retrospect, isn't it.

He said, when I met him, not long before we unmet, that I should follow the light, and shed that which had become heavy.

It was only a week: Saturday to Saturday. Yup, that's a lifetime-long; like seeing the world and all-of-nature reflected in a dew drop. Distilled living / pure life.

He was a catalyst. Just this week past. My world is a changed one now.

The week before my life was to change was a bleak and cold one, washed of colour, like what The 2,5 Years had become. 

Hang on, using the word 'become' implies I was a victim, that life had happened to me. Nope, that wasn't the case; I take reponsibility. Fuill responsibility. I had allowed life -  and that which once had been my lifeblood of passion-and-escape from the last chapter (the catalyst before this catalyst), my life and heart - to become washed out and bleak because I had, through complacency and elements of fear, forgoeten that LOVE is in fact a verb.

Hang on, take a step back.

There's the other argument (of course): that once a person's role in your life - i.e. the part where both of your  journeys run parallel, where you walk next to each other for a while - is over, unless you're so-called 'soul mates' of course (but what do i know?). That's when your paths through the forest split apart like a ripe paw paw and you rocket off in your separate ways. (And should you, normally out of clinging and fear and stagnancy, refuse to seperate, that's when it gets really ugly and the '2 x self-destruction-and-decay' begins.

The trick is to know when its over, and to have the balls to act on your intuition.

I had, on numerous occasions, thought the end was in sight. As often as that thought had raised its head, I buried and buried it again in the comfortable, loamy compost I'd surrounded myself with in my comfy potting pot. I'm happy now, and comfortable I had thought, smiling to myself as I fatted myself up to expand myself and root-bound myself.

There is nothing more that the Universe / God hates than complacency and stagnation (not to mention smugness and self-satisfaction).

(I'd very comfotably forgotten my mid-2012 affirmation - my heart is wide open to life.) 


No comments: